Peace

Ruth Ayres writes in her blog (https://ruthayreswrites.com/2019/01/03/lets-write-2019/) about choosing a word to live by each year.  This year I am choosing to intentionally live the word peace –  freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; absence of mental anxiety; a feeling of calm and tranquility; harmony.  

It’s going to take peace to challenge the negative thoughts that invade my mind on a daily basis…”I’m not good enough.”  “I’m not thin enough.”  “I’m not doing enough.”  “I don’t have enough.”  “I’m not happy enough.”

It’s going to take peace to walk away from friendships that no longer fill my cup or feed my soul.

It’s going to take peace to focus on creating a better “me”.  A “me” that is seen, heard, and valued for my gifts and talents.

It’s going to take peace to accept myself as I am right now…a work in progress.

It’s going to take peace to look deep inside and make decisions about my future…What is my purpose?  Is this where I belong?  What if I fail?  Do I play it safe?

It’s going to take peace to do the hard things, the right things, when everyone else is doing the “expected” thing.

It’s going to take peace to challenge a system that is failing…failing to grow leaders, failing to grow compassion, failing to grow trust, failing to grow respect.

It’s going to take peace to find a way to smile when I feel like crying, laugh when I feel like dying, and let go when I want to hold on even tighter.

It’s going to take peace to accept that others may not understand me, accept me, or share my values and beliefs.

It’s going to take peace to continue to live in a world where a woman’s worth is measured by the number of friends on Facebook, the number of Instagram followers, the size of the home she lives in, the car she drives, and the number of things she owns.

It’s going to take peace to forgive myself for the mistakes of 2018 and see 2019 as a new beginning.

Let there be peace and let it begin with me.

Here at the Beach

Here at the beach,

the sunrise paints the sky

with pinks

and the sunsets

with peaches.

 

Here at the beach,

your smiles paint my heart

with pinks

and my soul

with peaches.

 

Here at the beach,

the warm colors

of lasting friendships

paint the canvas

of our lives.

How to Be Shane

Have fun,

Wear t-shirts and baseball hats,

Play golf and shoot pool,

Talk cars,

Laugh loud,

Tease your friends.

 

Be fearless,

Eat meat and drink beer,

Chew tobacco and smoke cigars,

Walk fast,

Take chances,

Life is short.

 

Don’t quit,

Remember your mom and dad,

Honor the past and cherish the memories,

Love deeply,

Dance slowly,

Have no regrets.

 

 

Thoughts from My Hair

“Dear Lord woman, leave me alone!  And chill out with the hairspray.  That stuff is super-sticky and I need to move.  Every now and then give me a break, let me breathe, let me live.  Did you ever consider  just letting me grow a bit?  Every morning it’s the same old thing – mousse, hairspray, brush, pick, hairdryer, hotbrush, curling iron, flat iron, and more hairspray – LOTS of hairspray.  The view from up here is fine, but I want to travel – see the world – get a new perspective.  How about some cool headbands, or maybe even a barrette?  Change isn’t a bad thing.”

Small Moments

I remember our wedding day, more specifically, every detail from the moment my Dad knocked on the hotel room door.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Yep.” I answered.

“You look beautiful.” he whispered.

“Thanks, Dad.” I replied.

“Last minute bathroom check?” he questioned.

“Nope, I’m good.” I responded.

“Here we go.” he said moving towards the door.

I was sure this was going to be a piece of cake.  I was marrying the man of my dreams – my best friend.  Being with Shane had been easy from the beginning, comfortable, like we had known each other for a lifetime.  But as soon as I took my Dad’s arm and started that walk to the alter I lost it.  Something caught in my throat and I found it difficult to choke back the tears.  I began to cry, you know, that ugly cry that takes control of your entire body and brings with it uncontrollable sobs, the sting of hot tears, and fear.  Fear that you won’t be able to pull yourself together and appear like a lady.  Now, I am not saying that I am usually a perfect lady on a daily basis, but today was special.

My Dad slowed his steps and spoke softly, “Come on girl, get it together.”  You can do this, take a deep breath.  Everything will be alright.  It’s just you and me right now, taking a stroll through this beautiful garden.”

“I know, Dad.  It’s just a little scary.” I cried.

He turned slightly to look at me and said, “Life is full of scary moments, girl.  But I know that whatever is thrown your way, you are strong enough to face it.  After all, I raised you to be fearless.”

The Summer Sun

The summer sun

warms my skin

and my heart.

With its rays I am reminded

of long days on the beach with family

contemplating my future.

 

The summer sun

fuels my soul

and my spirit…

With its warmth I am reminded

of long nights with friends and martinis

discussing our dreams.

 

The summer sun

rekindles my hopes

and sparks my dreams…

With its light I am reminded

that each day brings a fresh start –

a new beginning –

a chance to rewrite my story.

I remember the good old days…

Today I am taking The Slice of Life Story Challenge for my Millersville University Literacy Institute with Aileen Hower…https://twowritingteachers.org/2018/06/26/tuesday-slice-of-life-story-challenge-13/

Here is a poem I wrote that was inspired by Ralph Fletcher’s, The Good Old Days…

Sometimes I remember

the good old days,

Sitting on the beach

with my step-mom, aunts, and cousins,

each in our own colorful beach chair,

at the water’s edge,

drenched in suntan oil,

wearing my pink and black suit.

Aunt Jane hands out our sandwiches,

drinks, and napkins.

I still can’t imagine

anything better than that.